......The Cary Chronicles......

Miss Catherine Stone

2011-09-21T13:06:00.000-07:00

Our sweet Catherine Stone arrived on Thursday September 15th at 9:07pm by successful VBAC! She was 7lbs 12oz and 20.5 inches long. She is happy, healthy, and an absolute dream come true. More details and pictures to come!

An Introduction!

2011-09-14T09:54:00.000-07:00

No, I am STILL not introducing my sweet Catherine to the world because she is apparently very content on not making her appearance quite yet! I am introducing something else though that is very near and dear to my heart. I have started a new website/blog "The Creative Chronicles". It has been something I have wanted to do for a long time but just never had the courage or motivation to do. After my mom got sick I decided that I would finally begin the journey. I want this space to inspire people to live each moment to its fullest potential. I'll be chronicling the creative inspiration I find every day in cooking, baking, crafting and home design and how they truly promote individual satisfaction and family connection and togetherness! I would love for you to come on over!

PS Shameless Bribe Alert: The first 25 members will be automatically entered to win a $25 Target Giftcard :)

Weekly Wrap Up

2011-09-11T20:55:00.000-07:00

Honestly the only thing I can say about this week is that we are STILL waiting on Catherine! I can't believe it. Everything else seems to be a jumbled mess in my very pregnant brain :) Really though we havent done much. We've laid low and waited on our sweet girl. On Friday a few friends and I went on a picnic to the Marin Art and Garden Center. It was beautiful and the kids had a great time. If you live in Marin County you have to visit. The center is truly beautiful and the perfect place for a weekday picnic.

On Saturday morning we woke up to find out sweet Jack lying on the living room floor instead of on the couch as normal. I put him by the front door to go out and he wouldn't walk down the stairs. He has been lethargic and walking poorly since then. We are concerned he has been bit by a spider. He'll be going to the vet this week if he doesn't get better on his own.

(This has always been my favorite picture of Jack. He was always looking in the crib waiting for Caroline to be born!)

We spent the rest of the day watching football and running some errands. We are so fun. I also got to talk to my mom for a bit. She missed chemo this week because her white blood cell count was too low to handle it. We are praying specifically that her blood cell count increases. She is going back to the doctor for a reimaging scan tomorrow. We are also praying specifically that the cancer has decreased and there are no new tumors. To be honest, I am scared to death to hear the outcome.

Kim and I took Caroline to the Fall Fair at her school/parish. We had a good time and I got to eat a hot dog which, lets get serious, actually made it a great time. I've been watching ID for hours and will be spending the rest of the night reading about natural ways to induce labor :)

Etsys Friday Finds: Fall Onesies

2011-09-09T17:56:00.000-07:00

Another set of absolutely adorable Etsy finds

I may just need one of each :)

Updates!

2011-09-09T07:54:00.000-07:00

Update on my previous post: I don't think the pictures of those gorgeous cowls were showing up. Thats been fixed if you want to see them!

Update on my Catherine: Apparently this sweet girl is as stubborn as her mama. We had a doctors appointment yesterday and she has made NO progress. I had had about two hours of contractions the night before and you better believe that I almost cried when they suddenly stopped. Still I was sure they were a sign of SOMETHING! Damn you Braxton Hicks! I went ahead and scheduled a C-Section for a few days past my due date. The day I scheduled to have it will bring me home the day that my parents arrive so that will work out perfectly. Lets just pray that she decides to arrive before that though! I'm also in the process of getting my babysitters in order to help when we don't have family in town.

Update on my Mama: I finally got to talk to my Mom on Thursday. She was in great spirits and is SO excited to come and visit (which completely solidified my choice to schedule the c section a few days earlier than I needed to. I want to be home and settled by the time they arrive so she can spend as much time with Catherine as possible! I would definitely sacrifice a natural birth for that.) She's lost alot of weight and all her hair. She is sleeping a good amount but overall I think the chemo is doing some serious work on the cancer which is fantastic!! She started to cry at the end and said that sometimes she doesn't like to talk to anyone because she knows how emotional she is going to get and feels like she is letting everyone down by being sick. I just can't stand that she feels that way! It breaks my heart. I tried my best to reassure her. I hope I got through, even a little. Can't wait to see her :)

Fabulous Finds: Etsy Edition

2011-09-07T20:44:00.000-07:00

I love Etsy. I could spend hours and hours scouring through the beautifulness that people have the talent to make with their own two hands. Their creativity is simply amazing. And who doesn't want to support small, homemade business. My latest Etsy obsession is the cowl. I don't believe there is another piece of Fall clothing that adds more class or stlye to a simple outfit. I'd love to be wearing one drinking a Pumpkin Spice Latte right this moment ( OR be lying in a hospital bed with Catherine but, hey, whos keeping track!) Here are my favorite Etsy cowl finds:

Love, Love, Love.

W-A-I-T-I-N-G

2011-09-06T18:57:00.000-07:00

We are STILL awaiting Catherines arrival! About twenty times I day I get convinced that I am going into labor though, obviously, I'm pulling at straws :) Thankfully we've been keeping busy in the meantime...

Clint became a BOARD CERTIFIED UROLOGIST! Woohoo! We are so proud of him!

Here he is when I asked him to look "studious" with his congratulatory letter...

So Happy!

Caroline wore her FIRST pair of pigtails...

And has started to use EVERYTHING as a phone

We spent some time at the creek with friends

And got broken hearted about some serious cheerio stealing that was happening

We watched the FIRST College Game Day of the season and saw UT WIN!

Personally, my new crock pot and chili recipe were the best parts of the day!

1 LB Ground Beef

2 (small) cans Tomato Sauce with Italian Seasoning

1 Can of Kidney Beans

2 cans of Italian Style Diced Tomatoes (1 drained completely & 1 partially drained)

1 Tablespoon Chili Powder

1 Tablespoon Italian Seasoning

Salt & Pepper to taste

Simply brown the ground beef and put into the crock pot along with the other ingredients. Cook on low for 8 hours. Top with shredded cheese and serve with corn muffins.

L-O-V-E

(No pictures since my camera is packed in my hospital bag...just waiting patiently like the rest of us)

We started a nannyshare with a friend so Labor Day Clint and I went to lunch and had some final "alone" time before the baby!

And here are Catherine and I at 38 weeks!

I've been having horrible heartburn and have been sleeping in a chair in the living room. She can't get here soon enough :)

In September...

2011-09-02T09:02:00.000-07:00

we will FINALLY meet our precious Catherine. I was about 100% sure that I would have her in August but at my September 1st appointment yesterday I went ahead and accepted the fact that we wouldn't :) My doctor told me that I am showing NO signs of Catherine wanting to arrive anytime soon! Ugh! We are 38 weeks today. Maybe she realizes how wild her big sister is and is choosing to bide her time somewhere more peaceful!

Speaking of my Caroline, if this were her birth than I would be recovering right this moment from my c-section and waiting to head to our post partum room as she was born at exactly 38 weeks at 7:54 am. So much for the idea that second labors happen earlier than firsts!

Thankfully, my blood pressure looked great and Catherine is still head down so we are on track for the VBAC. I have until September 23rd (41 WEEKS!) to go into labor naturally. If not, then I will have a c-section that day as they won't induce VBACs. I am hoping it will happen long before that though so we are at home and settled by the time my parents get here. I don't want to be in the hospital for any of the time that they are here so my mom can spend as much quality time with Catherine as possible. Fingers crossed!

At least Sapphire push presents are pretty...

Challenge Me Monday...On Tuesday

2011-08-30T20:11:00.000-07:00

This is an official pregnancy-has-eaten-my-brain post. I completely forgot to write my Challenge Me Monday post yesterday and my fingers are already exhausted typing this one :) So, needless to say, there aren't any pictures of my completed project this week- Getting Ready For the Arrival of Catherine Stone- because the effort to get my camera seems truly overwhelming! Being 9 1/2 months pregnant can be pretty brutal!

So, at least, here is a list of what I did...pathetic, I know.
1. Completed section of household binder with all of Carolines important information for whoever is watching her while we're at the hospital and may be unreachable
2. Set up Pack n Play, Co Sleeper, Swing, Bouncy Seat, Snuggle Nest (in case of c section)
3. Washed all baby sheets, little tiny sweet newborn clothes, lovies, swaddles, blankets, and toys. Put all away.
4. Cleaned and set up car seat
5. Washed all bottles
6. Packed hospital bag (except makeup and toiletries) and set out outfit for going to the hospital
7. Got Carolines and Catherines matching outfits for "go home" day ready
8. Charged both cameras and Flip Video
9. Sent check to newborn photographer
10. Got all babysitter schedules in order
I'm sure theres a million more things but thats all I can remember at the moment!

And just look at these sweet shirts for my precious girls...Thanks Auntie KK

Challenge of the Week:

HAVE Catherine Stone

This will be the challenge every week until Catherine arrives :)

Weekend Wrap Up

2011-08-28T21:18:00.000-07:00

We've had, thankfully, a very mellow weekend!
Friday, Caroline and I went on a playdate with our playgroup to the Marin Art and Garden Center. It was beautiful and relaxing. The best part was that the other moms took Caroline most of the time so I could lounge around at our picnic area all. by. myself. PERFECTION! Friday night I made this for dinner...

Farfalle with sausage, tomatoes, mushrooms, peppers and feta

and it was great! I substituted chicken for the sausage and added spinach. Later, we watched Black Swan...

which I though was totally bizarre and I just couldn't get into it!

Clint cooked breakfast Saturday morning and we ran some errands, including an insanely expensive get-ready-for-babys-arrival Costco run. I don't think we're ever gotten out of there without the bill giving me a heart attack. We headed over to CVS for a quick blood pressure check after that. It was high for me but back in the normal range...hooray! I think I was asleep by 8:45pm on Saturday night. Pathetic but wonderful ;)

Today we lounged around and ran a few quick errands. Blood pressure check #2 was much higher than yesterday so I am going to check it again tomorrow and go from there. Hopefully it will be back to normal! As much as I would love to meet Catherine, I am NOT READY and we have no family in town until the 17th to help. Taking care of both alone wouldn't be a huge deal but if my BP continues to rise than I'll have to have a c-section as they won't induce a VBAC and the only way to "cure" pre eclampsia is with delivery. Caring for both Caroline and Catherine alone during the day after a c section is just not logical! I honestly don't even know what I would do since you can only lift 10 pounds...and Caroline is definitely not 10 lbs anymore :) Yikes! Fingers crossed that it is back down tomorrow!

The Big PRE-E

2011-08-25T20:55:00.000-07:00

So things have been a little crazy around here. Last weekend we packed up Caroline and headed down to Monterey to go to the Monterey Bay Aquarium. We drove down Higway 1 and it was beautiful. The aquarium was great as well though it was packed and we definitely would not have survived without our borrowed Kelty Kids backpack. It was a lifesaver. Regardless of that I was pretty sure I wasn't going to be able to walk for a week once we got back to the car. My feet were the size of Texas!

Thankfully we got home and relaxed. We put Caroline to bed, put a pizza in the oven and watched "The Switch". Such a cute movie!

In other good news, my legs did work properly the next day....though barely :) Regardless, I am STILL huge!

I ran my first playgroup with my moms group on Wednesday. It was really fun though the park was HUGE and it was impossible to really talk to any other mom without losing your child in the process. Hopefully the park next week will be smaller. Wednesday afternoon we meet up with our sweet friends Suzanne and Joshua. We got frozen yogurt and then headed to our neighborhood park. Caroline has a SLIGHT crush on Joshua and follows him around everywhere. Adorable! Unfortunately, all that good time wiped me out so I had to cancel our Thursday morning playdate at the Farmers Market. I honestly couldnt be more pregnant at this point :)

Today I went to my 37 week appointment. My hands and feet have been super swollen, almost painful, so I was a little worried. Sadly, my blood pressure was also high and I had an abnormal weight jump so my doctor is concerned about pre eclampsia. We'll see how next week goes. If everything is still positive for pre eclampsia that a c section will be scheduled. They can't induce me since I've had a previous c section. Yuck! I am keeping my fingers crossed that everything subsides on its own by next week. I'll be so mad if Catherine is head down and ready to VBAC and I have to have a c section because of this!! Ugh!

An update on my mama: She has been in great spirits lately. I talked to her briefly today and she was in a great mood. She'll have the catheter removed from her lung next week which is fantastic. Also, her blood cell/cancer count look promising. Hooray!!

Challenge Me Monday!

2011-08-22T19:37:00.000-07:00

My challenge last week was to create a household organizational binder for my family. I am SO happy to say that I finished it today! It feels great to have completed it and I already feel more organized and calm :) Here is the finished product...

I keep my three hole punch in the binder for quick use along with a pen and a pack of sticky notes

There are three large envelopes in the front: To File (mainly for magazine clippings), Coupons, Extras

Next is the Weekly Information Section

Here are the printables I used for this section

Then Caroline, Catherine, and Jack each have their own section

After this is a section for blank note paper. I have an obsession with writing, and re writing, everything.

A section with monthly calendars for quick date references follows

An extras section for print outs without a home is next

And lastly, a folder for good measure...

I LOVE IT! Now lets hope I actually keep up with it :)

Onto Week #3

Challenge of the Week:

Get Ready for the Arrival of Catherine Stone

No picture this week of what I'm working with since I'd rather not take pictures of disasters and that is exactly the current state of poor Catherines things. This week I am going to focus on getting everything ready for our sweet girls homecoming! And just to remind everyone of how pressing this project is....here is a picture of us before going to bed last night. I couldn't be bigger!

In a Moment

2011-08-18T19:07:00.000-07:00

I've learned over the past year how much truth there is in the idea that life can change in an instant. Simple words can change your world in a moment.

"The baby has a ventricular septal defect"

"Your mom has ovarian cancer"

"Something is wrong with Caroline"

All at once, your forever can be altered.

We anxiously awaited our 18 week ultrasound to find out the sex of our sweet baby to be. Instead, we walked out with the knowledge that she had a heart defect that could potentially need to be fixed with open heart surgery by 10 days old.

We received a text from my dad asking if we wanted to video chat. Moments later he was on the screen telling us that my mom had been diagnosed with late stage Ovarian Cancer as she sat in the background, trying not to cry, telling us that she wasn't scared.

We heard Caroline crying early this morning. I went to pick her up and she was hotter than I had ever felt a person be before. I took her to Clint and couldn't say anything except that something was wrong with our baby girl. I watched the temperature on the thermometer rise to an alarming number. She laid lethargically on the bed. I was sick with worry. This could be the start of a nightmare.

Thankfully, Catherines heart looks like it will be healthy at birth. If not, the surgery she would need boasts a 99% success rate.

Thankfully, my moms cancer was not past the point of at least trying treatment. She is currently three weeks in to an 18 week trial of chemotherapy.

Thankfully, Caroline has begun to feel better with a combination of love and Tylenol.

Regardless I can't help but think, with all these moments, that I am being shown a path, that I am being taught a lesson. Being reminded of the knowledge that life happens in an instant. To cherish life minute by minute because you never know when it will be altered by an event, a sentence, a phone ringing. I'm learning to not take a day, a minute, a second for granted. Because it all can change in a moment...

C.S.C.

2011-08-17T19:22:00.000-07:00

We went to see about our sweet Catherine Stone today. I've come to really like my doctor and am glad that we found her so quickly after our move. Catherine was bouncing all over the place and her heartbeat sounded fantastic. No dilation yet but Dr. G could feel her head already...which is why I've been occasionally feeling like I'm holding a bowling ball between my legs! We talked about the actual birth (which was kind of scary!) With a VBAC you come in to the hospital as soon as your contractions become regular instead of waiting for them to be five minutes apart due to the (low) possibility of uterine rupture. Also, Dr. G recommended that I get an epidural so if I have to have an emergency c-section I'll already have a local one in place and it will be less likely that I'll have to be put to sleep. I had been throwing around the idea of a natural birth but I will do whatever is the safest for Catherine and I. When we came home I nested a bit more and put most of the big items together so they are all set. Now we're just waiting, waiting, waiting. I am ready to meet this pumpkin!

Here are Catherine and I this week...

Challenge Me Monday!

2011-08-15T09:57:00.000-07:00

Last Monday I started a new weekly installment called Challenge Me Monday. You can read about it here. I'm proud to announce that I completed my first project, a blog cleanup!

You can't really tell much was done but a ton was cleaned up and cleaned out! After that, I took it even farther and finally organized my Iphoto, Snapfish, and Picasa accounts. I created a movie with all of my 2010 photos in Imovie and have only one page left (when August is over) to make in my digital scrapbooking pages for this book. Whew! It was a ton of work but totally rewarding. I know now that I'm ready for all things memory when Catherine arrives. WooWoo! I'm so glad I started this because it really has motivated me to work through my ever growing to do list!!

Here we are at week #2...

Challenge of the Week:

Creating a Home Organization Notebook

I'm so excited about this challenge! I've seen several home organization notebooks floating around the blogosphere and has definitely motivated me to make my own! Can't wait! What are you challenging yourself to this week?

Moving On Up

2011-08-14T21:23:00.000-07:00

After our playdate on Friday something wonderful was waiting by our front door...The Step 2 Four Seasons Playhouse! This may not seem exciting to anyone else but I was SO happy! It was like Christmas. I've wanted this for Caroline for so long. Even though my mom is so sick she still manages to pull off great surprises. I had no idea that it was coming for her! We waited until Saturday morning to put it together.
Caroline fueled up on a waffle breakfast for the big build...

Then she got to work with her daddy...

After it was built, she spent the whole rest of the day walking in and out of the door, ringing the doorbell, and showing her babies her new place...

We also looked for a gym to join this weekend but, of course, the search gave us sticker shock as much as everything else does in Marin County. Yikes! We're weighing our options but looks like we're definitely not in Kansas anymore. Hopefully we can make something work with our budget because this mama is going to need some serious post baby body help!

We relaxed both nights by watching two cute movies...

Both were so much cuter than I had expected. I really liked them both.

We video chatted briefly with my parents tonight though my mom only stopped by the screen for a second. The chemo is definitely taking a toll on her and she is exhausted and embarrassed by how she looks, especially from her hair loss, which is heartbreaking. She is beautiful. Fortunately she is able to buy head scarves, wigs, etc. but there are many women who have cancer and no additional funds to buy these simple items that can make them feel much better about themselves. Because of this I looked into donating my hair. I'm thinking about going with Pantenes Great Lengths program which donates to women in need who have lost their hair to cancer. It will take awhile for it to grow long enough but it will be worthwhile in the end.

Clint has a week break from school so we're looking forward to some fun plans!

Turn, Turn, Turn

2011-08-13T20:40:00.000-07:00

On Friday we had a great playdate with some sweet friends. We drove to Blackies Pasture with Suzanne and Joshua. This picture cracks me up because it looks like, even though they are holding hands, they are totally over each other :)

Later I discovered that Caroline was actually squeezing Joshuas hand so hard that he couldn't let go!

That afternoon we went to see about our sweet Catherine. I was about 110% positive that she was still breech but my doctor wanted to do an ultrasound just to be sure she hadn't turned. Clint and Caroline came to the appointment with me so we could all see our girl. Dr. G began the ultrasound and within about two seconds both she and Clint had big smiles on their faces...though, of course, no one filled in the mama as to what was going on. I looked at the screen and asked (though I think all baby parts look the same on screen) if that was her head I was seeing. Dr G happily told me that it was...she turned HEAD DOWN! I honestly can't believe it. She turned! As long as she stays head down than I can try for a VBAC. I just have to go into labor on my own before 41 weeks...which, if I'm still pregnant at 41 weeks you better believe Im going to find a way to send myself into labor. My goodness!
After the appointment we all came home to play...

Here Caroline is with her Daddy and new best friend "the lady"

"The Lady" has become a staple in most of our lifes events

Though I'm sure that the lady's not always happy about that!

And of course there was a solo game of self timed freeze dance

Dance

and freeze!

Dance...

...

and freeze!

Dance...

and freeze! High Five!

And then we took some time being really serious about hearing new sounds

And loved having in depth conversations with her Daddy

And, of course, we ended the night with the now infamous thumb suck/back hair twirl

What a great Friday :)

Remembering It All

2011-08-11T16:44:00.000-07:00

Since my mom has gotten sick I've begun to look at life differently...as more precious, more worthwhile, more of a chance to truly enjoy every second we're given. I've really tried to make a stronger commitment to not only making special memories with my girls but ALSO keeping those memories safe for them. It started with an overhaul of my Iphoto, Snapfish, and Picasa accounts last week. I moved onto Imovie last night. I finally put all of our 2010 pictures into movie form with some of our favorite songs playing in the background. This has been something I've wanted to do forever but just never took the time to actually do it. I would post it but its so long that Blogger won't accept it :) It still needs some tweeks but I'm pretty proud of it!
PS If you haven't used Imovie yet you are truly missing out. The entire movie took less than two hours to create....and will be even shorter next time since now I have the hang of it! All of your pictures can be turned into a beautiful movie, text can be added to any picture or to its own text page and you can use any song you have in your Itunes account to play during the movie. Its super intuitive and so easy to use!

Shiver Me Timbers

2011-08-09T21:00:00.000-07:00

My mom called yesterday to tell me she looked like a pirate. I don't talk to her for weeks on end and then she calls yesterday to tell me about a $7000 shot she has to get to increase her WBC and today to tell me she looks like a pirate. Hysterical! She thinks that wearing her head scarf reminds people of Jack Sparrow.

We video chatted and, actually, it looks really nice. Its pretty fancy! She has a little peahead and the scarf looks great. She was in wonderful spirits so we joked about lots of things that are normally too sad and serious to talk about. I think should probably shave all of her hair instead of waiting for it to fall out but she'll do what makes her feel happiest. Also, they are considering taking out her lung drain because she barely has any fluid in there. This is great news because it means that the chemo is killing the cancer cells that were in the lung area. Woohoo! I've gotten some really sweet texts and emails today checking up which is always so nice.

Also, we had a great playdate yesterday with Mo and the twins. Her house looks like a Pottery Barn catalog and I was just slightly jealous! Especially since all of our furniture was purchased for $50 or less off Craigslist. So later I went home and signed up for this ~~about a 1000 times~~ once

potterybarn.com

The kids had fun and Caroline wanted to hug and kiss the twins goodbye. She has really inspired me to get my Etsy store up and running. Once the baby is born that will be one of my main goals.

In unrelated news, I thought my water broke today. Sadly, it was just that I had peed from coughing too hard. As if I didn't have to say it, I am READY for Catherine to arrive and to not be pregnant anymore!

30 Days

2011-08-09T09:11:00.000-07:00

While pregnancy insomnia and the tailend of a nasty cold had me up at 3am, I noticed on my Iphone that today is the 9th...THE 9TH! Meaning that we are no less than 30 days from our sweet Catherine Stones arrival. I'm officially due on September 16th but I'll most likely have a c-section (if she remains breech and the Version doesn't work) which will be done on the 9th. 30 days! Or even less if she arrives earlier! I'm totally unprepared. Don't think that today won't be a shut ourselves inside and make a million lists type of day. Has anyone used ListPlanIt? It seems great but also has an annual fee so want to make sure its worth it.

Challenge Me Monday! A New Link Up Party

2011-08-08T08:49:00.000-07:00

Do you have an idea binder 1,000 pages long? Or a pintrest board with an endless amout of DIY crafts you're dying to try? What about those cupcakes you constantly look at in your recipe book but never take the chance to actually make? If you're like me, you never try anything because it seems like its simply too overwhelming to find a place to start. Well, here is our jumping off point! Meet me here every Monday morning while I challenge myself to accomplish one goal in either home projects, crafts, or cooking. Link up and challenge yourself too! Its a great way to share ideas and get our goals accomplished. I know it'll be great. Looking forward to seeing everything we do!

Challenge of the Week:

BLOG CLEANUP!

This poor blog needs a serious Spring cleaning which I've been meaning to do forever! I feel like this could easily take me a month but I'll get it done my Monday :)

What are you challenging yourself to this week? Link up with your challenge! Next Monday we'll link up the results and your next challenge.

(PS Actual link party will be posted later today-when I can figure out how to do it!-so for now, just leave your challenge in the comments and I'll let you know as soon as its up!)

Week End Wrap Up

2011-08-06T20:24:00.000-07:00

Hi Friends!! I've been back to blogging for a bit now since we settled in CA but kept it private to see if I'd actually keep up with it this time :) I've done pretty well so far so I opened it back up. If you want to start from the first "new" post click here. You'll get an update on our life including living in CA, Caroline, Catherine, my moms newly diagnosed Stage 4 Ovarian Cancer and progress, and all the little things in between :)

On Friday Clint, Caroline and I headed to our local Cold Stone for a 3pm pick me up. We shared a chocolate, peanut butter ice cream deliousness. We tried to give some to Caroline but she stuck up her nose like it was brussel sprouts :)

Clint brought home a nasty cold from Reno and has shared it with the rest of us. Caroline has been up most of the night for the past few nights and the lack of sleep is taking a toll on this pregnant mama. We all got up Saturday morging and headed to the Farmers Market at the Ferry Building in San Francisco. It was fun but SUPER crowded. Clint wore Caroline in the Bjorn :)

We thought about climbing Lombard Street but it was PACKED so we'll have to leave that for a week day. The rest of the day we spent at home. We were planning on video chatting with my mom but she had a bad reaction to her chemo on Friday and has been really sick. She'll be getting a shot M, T, and W just to get her white blood cell count back up so she can get her next round. I honestly can't believe this is happening.

Catherine has been up all night kicking up a storm. Her kicks are super low meaning that she is still breech. After Caroline being sick this week, and wanting no one else to hold her but me, the c section is looking less and less logical. If I am allowed a version with Catherine I'm definitely taking it!

Today has been pretty lazy. I'm looking forward to a fun week.

Week in Review

2011-08-05T21:17:00.000-07:00

Last week was a big week in the Cary household. For starters, we offically became CA residents. Ok, we didn't technically become anything but the Jeep did. Doesn't she look pretty now...

Clint also got his CA drivers license. I've decided to wait to get mine so I don't look like an elephant in my picture. Of course this may mean that I don't take my test until sometime next year!
Clint took his Urology boards this week too. He had to drive to Reno to take them and we missed him for the night. Caroline colored him a sweet picture.

We'll find out next month if he passed, I mean to find out how well he did :) He's our smartypants.
The rest of the week was fun. We had our first playdate with my new friend Mo and her twins. We walked to Starbucks and then brought the kids to the park. Shes hysterical and I think that we are going to get along really well. She has an Etsy shop and has definitely inspired me to get my act together to open mine sometime next year. We also had a play date with Suzanne and Joshua at Gerstle Park. She is lending us her co-sleeper and snuggle nest for Catherine. I'm so excited for both!
Last Friday we went to see my OB. Clint and Caroline have been driving me to my appointments because San Francisco driving is crazy! Turns out that Catherine is breech. Not that I should be surprised. We're having an ultrasound next Friday and then we'll make a plan. I am considering a version with Catherine because I can't imagine having a c section and then having to take care of Caroline though we'll see. We also briefly discussed potentially starting anti depressents two weeks after Catherines arrival because of my ppd with Caroline and the crazy circumstances of my life right now. We'll see about that too. After the appointment we headed over to Crissy Field to play at the beach but it was unbelievably windy.

On a nice day this would be a great spot. A pretty beach that overlooks the Golden Gate Bridge...not so bad! Instead we headed to Saulsalito to eat. We just walked around and gawked at the outrageous prices at taco shops and pizza places though. We ended up picking up Tomatinos and headed home to eat outside. It was a great night.
My sweet friend Michelle was planning on coming up for the weekend but I had to ask her not to come. I honestly don't have any energy right now and I'm still so overwhelemed with everything thats happening with my mom I just knew that I couldn't host anyone for a whole weekend. Mich was unbelieveably sweet and understanding. She even sent the girls some really sweet goodies!

We can't wait until she comes to visit after Catherines arrival!
We found our home church on Sunday which we are so excited about! Caroline, of course, had a great time in the nursery. She walked right in without a second glance. Our sweet, independent girl.

Later in the afternoon, we headed to Rodeo Beach. It was windy but nice enough to stay for a few hours.

This week has been pretty lazy. Clint was sick and then passed it on to Caroline and now to mw so we haven't done much. My sister went to stay with my Mom in Phoenix this week and we all video chatted yesterday. It was so great to see and talk to my Mama. She hasn't been answering the phone or calling much (really ever) so I was so happy to talk to her. I expected her to look much worse than she did. She was in great spirits and we had a fun conversation. It was fantastic! She did mention the fact that 46% of people who are diagnosed with Ovarian cancer will die within the first year. Even though I knew it, it was still hard hearing it from her. I am going to do everything I can to keep her spirits up. I recently have the hardest time doing mundane tasks...cooking dinner, going to the grocery store, watching Caroline play. I honestly can't believe I may lose her. Looks like I need to work on keeping my own spirits up too!
Caroline has really picked up her speech this week. She has started to repeat more sounds and has begun to sound out "cracker, "dog" and "cookie". I was cleaning they toys for Catherine and Clint said say "Catherines toys" obvioulsy assuming that she wouldn't come close. As clear as day though she said "Catherines toys" It brought me to tears. We were both stunned. It is so sweet to hear her little voice say Catherines name.
And here I am with our sweet Catherine Stone at 33 weeks...

Now we're at the weekend again...Woohoo!

Surprise!

2011-07-25T19:35:00.000-07:00

Late last week I texted some friends about how the doctors had found cancer cells in my moms lung fluid which basically steps her up to a stage 4 and that her chemo was increased to once a week for 18 weeks. Kim called me a few minutes later and I lost it, I mean lost it. Hyperventilating, nose running, the while nine yards. She was great as usual and I felt better when I hung up the phone. A few minutes later I got a text saying to clear my day on Saturday as she had a surprise for me. I was SO excited. The next day Caroline and I had a fun play group with some new friends at Hal Brown park. On Friday night my mom called to quickly say hello. She only calls once or so a week now so I always look forward to talking to her. She heard Caroline in the background and started crying, and then I started crying, and you can take it from there... (PS I don't know who I think I'm kidding not going on anti depressents after Catherine is born as I can't even keep it together now)...so I was VERY ready for Saturday. At noon, I heard Kim at the door so walked over and then I saw, just steps behind her, was Alli. My Alli! I, shockingly, cried when I saw her. She flew in the night before to surprise me. They brought these sweet flowers and balloons (which later became Carolines favorite toy!).

We had a little baby shower at this great pizza place in Larkspur and spent the rest of the day walking around there and Saulsalito. We came back and hung out at my house for a while. It was the BEST day! I just can't believe what wonderful friends I have.

On Sunday we tried a new church, a Presbyterian church, by our house. Caroline, as usual, went right into daycare and had a great time as they were playing instruments and music. It was the closest to a normal church we have been to though it was really small and we were the youngest people by about 20 years! We'll see. They also played the Mariah Carey song "hero" and I had to leave mass as I started to cry. I miss my Mama.

And just to make me happy

Weekend Wrap Up

2011-07-17T20:27:00.000-07:00

We've had a good weekend and I'm so grateful that Clint now has weekends OFF! Unbelievable! On Friday Kim came over and watched Caroline while I went to the OB. The drive into the city was pretty petrifing but I survived it. My new doctor is nice, though a little quirky and very California, but I wasn't very impressed with the offices. She thinks that Catherine may be breech but we went ahead and discussed having a VBAC anyways. This will remain the plan until I'm forced onto the operating table :) We spent a quiet Friday night at home.

Saturday we went to the San Anselmo Art and Wine Festival. It was very fun and the weather was beautiful. Caroline saw her first puppet show. I'm know she couldn't understand any of it but she liked the puppets and smiled and laughed along with every one else. She also loved the bluegrass band and had some fast feet in her stroller :)

Sunday morning we tried out another church, an Episcopal church, here in our city. Caroline had a great time at daycare (even if she was the only one) though the church was exactly like a Catholic mass so we are passing on this one as well. Ugh. Frustrating. Back to searching. The church uses the Marin Day School classes for their daycare. This is where I recently contacted about Caroline attending but, not surprisingly for Marin, tuition was $867 A MONTH...FOR 2 DAYS! Yikes. I loved the little classroom though and it broke my heart because Caroline loved it too and had a great time. So instead I have signed up for a MOPS group and Morning Bible Study at a local church so she can at least go there twice a week and be with other kids. She has absolutely not one ounce of stranger anxiety, which I'm glad for. She can have fun with anyone, anywhere! We meet the Kuchens for lunch at Sams Cafe in Tiburon. We sat on the water and had beautiful weather. It was great to see them. Tiburon is such a cute little town.

I took some cute pictures of Caroline doing her favorite things later in the day

climbing...

playing games on mamas phone...which she can get to all. by. herself.

current shoe obsession

about to tear everything out of the dresser

reading books

monkey love

hanging out under the kitchen table

And here I am with Catherine Stone at 32 weeks...

My mom was readmitted to the hospital on Friday. She has fluid in her lungs that had to be drained, is getting IV nutrition, and is awaiting a heart sonogram....

Ties

2011-07-13T19:35:00.000-07:00

Tonight Clint and I talked about where we would move in two years: Indiana, Knoxville, Nashville....The possibilities have always been, in one way or another, endless. In reality, we can go anywhere, pack up our little life and start fresh. Despite that, there has always been a thought that stayed with me. My mama. In the back of my mind my mom has always been a front runner in this decision. I would think about how often she would visit, if she would feel comfortable, if the airport was close, if there was an extra bedroom where I could set up her coffeepot and sweet and low. Tonight my mind races with other thoughts of my sweet mama. I said to Clint that it will be different now, how I think about where we move, if my mom dies in the next two years. I prayed that he would say that wasn't possible, that her cancer wasn't that serious, that she would be fine. Instead, he said the words I dreaded "I know". Affirming that there is a chance she will die before Caroline goes to preschool, before Catherine says her first words, before I'm ready for her to go. My ideas about where we will move, how we will live our lives, changes so dramatically without my mom in the picture. I feel like I won't have any ties to anyone. That we can move anywhere, without thinking of anyone else. There were times in the past that I wished for that kind of luxury. Now, I pray for anything but.

First Friends

2011-07-11T19:47:00.001-07:00

Caroline made her first Marin friend today! Suzanne, a girl I met at the mothers group the other morning, invited us to the park. It turns out that she lives about a house away from us which is great. Her son, Joshua, is just two days younger than Caroline. Though they didn't pay much attention to each other I know they'll be good friends eventually! We had a great time. In all honesty, I was really skeptical that she was going to be too "Marin" for me but she was really nice. She made me feel so comfortable. She invited us to a music class on Wednesday morning...suddenly Caroline has a full social calender :) Woo Woo!
In other news...
I also had my first Safeway grocery delivery today. Unbelievable. The groceries just showed up at my door...actually, they put them IN my kitchen for me. Thats a little different than having a to hike from my car to the house with 100 bags, and Caroline, and a 7 month pregnant belly. It also helped me stay on budget since I ordered everything online and kept track of my total as I put items in my cart.

I also interviewed a girl to babysit for us. I am in definite need of a babysitter...especially since my mom wont be here when Catherine is born and we're going to need some MAJOR help around here. I liked her but am looking forward to meeting all the interviewees. I used the site "sittercity" and have been extremely happy with it.
My mom went back for her check up today but ended up needed some IV fluids as she just isn't doing as well as they had hoped. She was able to get the fluids and not be readmitted to the hospital though which is great. She'll be rechecked on Friday. She needs to start thinking more positively as I think she is starting to get discouraged.
I'm looking forward to my appointment on Friday. I've been having some brief, sporadic contractions that I'm hoping are only braxton hicks as we are NOT ready for baby!

You and Me

2011-07-09T19:59:00.000-07:00

Caroline,

When your daddy and I were driving to the hospital to have you, at 3 am in the wake of a snow storm in the dead of winter, the song "You and Me" by DMB came on the radio. I remember thinking how true it was about your daddy and me. He and I...a team, a life, a force. Tonight, you and I sat on the couch together before you went to bed. You watched Mickey Mouse Club House and I put my finger in the palm of your hand. You squeezed it and held on while you watched the rest of the show. At the end, you smiled at me the sweetest smile. I just stared and stared at you. The amazement that I have another "you and me", that we're a "you and me" was suddenly overwhelming. The song came rushing back to me. At one of your first doctors appointments Dr. Memgris said to me, as I held your little 8 lb self in my lap, "You two make a good team". I remember getting into the car and crying over that. You and Me, a team. You and Me, against the world. Me and my sweetest girl. I love you.

Click to listen

Wanna pack your bags, Something small
Take what you need and we disappear
Without a trace we'll be gone, gone
The moon and the stars can follow the car
and then when we get to the ocean
We gonna take a boat to the end of the world
All the way to the end of the world

Oh, and when the kids are old enough
We're gonna teach them to fly

You and me together, we could do anything, Baby
You and me together yes, yes (x2)

You and I, we're not tied to the ground
Not falling but rising like rolling around
Eyes closed above the rooftops
Eyes closed, we're gonna spin through the stars
Our arms wide as the sky
We gonna ride the blue all the way to the end of the world
To the end of the world

Oh, and when the kids are old enough
We're gonna teach them to fly

You and me together, we could do anything, Baby
You and me together yes, yes

We can always look back at what we did
All these memories of you and me baby
But right now it's you and me forever girl
And you know we could do better than anything that we did
You know that you and me, we could do anything

You and me together, we could do anything, Baby
You and me together yeah, yeah
Two of us together, we could do anything, baby
You and me together yeah, yeah
Two of us together yeah, yeah
Two of us together, we could do anything, baby

Marin Mamas and My Mama

2011-07-08T20:13:00.000-07:00

Today Caroline and I went to a "coffee morning" for the San Rafael Mothers Club. I definitely miss the girls from Eve Circle and would love to find something similar here. There was about 10 moms there and they seemed to be split into two groups. There was a group close to the entrance of the park so I started talking to them first. They were slightly more "organic" in their mothering than I am and realized I wasn't in the right place :) Thankfully the other group of moms there was totally normal and I had a really good time talking to them. Hopefully I'll see them again as they all had kids close to Carolines age...and since Jack is currently her best friend I think she could use some human ones :)

Mom is still at home recovering. Dad called today and her her on speaker but she only had the energy to say "hi" and then wanted to hang up. She walked with the walker today and was going to try a little food tonight.

Dancing Queen

2011-07-07T18:58:00.000-07:00

Here We Go Again...

2011-07-07T09:14:00.000-07:00

Its been too long since I've posted last. Almost 4 months to be exact. And what a 4 months it has been. Lets play a little catch up...

Caroline Grace:
Caroline turned 18 month old yesterday. I mentioned to Clint how much faster time seems to fly when you have little ones, when you life is measured by someone elses life milestones. Caroline is honestly the sweetest of little girls. She talks constantly but really only says "Dada", "Mama" (though only when shes miserable!) "All Gone", and "Uh Oh". She can point to her belly button, nose, eyes, head, mouth and ears. She walks to the bath when we say bath time. Her naps are still totally sporadic but she sleeps at night about 11 hours (though shes been night waking lately) She loves us and Jack (though shes rougher with Jack than he would like!). She loves meeting other kids her age and trying to hug them. She likes to try to brush her own hair and teeth. She points to airplanes, helicopters, loud noise etc. She also loves to wave. She moved into a front facing car seat this month too!

Catherine Stone:

We are about 30 weeks along with our sweet Catherine. I can't believe that time is flying by so quickly. We can't wait to meet her. The pregnancy has been pretty uneventful. At her 18 week ultrasound there was concern of a VSD but the pediatric cardiologist was unconcerned with her heart at the 24 week follow up. At both appointments the ultrasound tech noted she believes her hair is dark, her cheeks are chubby, and that she is head down! As of now, I am still considering a VBAC. She kicks up a storm, especially while I'm eating. I will finally, after new insurance complications, see my new doctor next Friday. I can't wait to hear her heartbeat again.

Indianapolis:

We were so happy to sell our house in Indianapolis. Though we paid some to get out we were grateful to move to San Francisco without having to think about the mortgage. There were some concerns about foundation issues but thankfully the buyers were not concerned enough to not buy. My parents were in town when we got the good news.

Caroline in her new hometown hat!

Clints parents came up over Easter weekend and helped us pack. We used an AFB UPack and sold everything that didn't fit on Craigslist!

San Francisco:

We are settling in to our new life in Marin County. We are living in the bottom level of a beautiful duplex. Our landlord and his family live above us and they have been very kind. We had a great time that week with my parents and they were a huge help with Caroline while we were house hunting.

Clint has only been here for about a week (and is already away again in New Orleans!) but its definitely starting to feel more like home now that he and Jack are here. The Jeep actually made its way across country too :) We spent our first weekend exploring our new city. We started church hunting though definitely are still looking. The bare feet, hands raised, electric guitar playing scene wasn't exactly for us. We spent the rest of the day at Rodeo Beach having a fantastic time. We went to a 4th of July Parade on Monday and spent the rest of the day enjoying some down time.

We've spent some time with one of my best friends, Kim, who lives in the next town over from us. We went to the Discovery Museum and had a great time.

Jay, Jenn, and Mia also came to visit for a few days...

My Mama:

On Thursday night while everyone was visiting my dad called us to video chat. We got on and just my dad was on the screen. He asked Mia to be moved (she was playing and saying "Hi Grandpa!") and we knew that something was wrong. My mom had originally planned to stay with us while everyone was visiting but had decided to go home early as she wasn't feeling well. I remember talking to Clint about how weird it was because I knew how much she was looking forward to visiting with us. She stayed with Caroline for the weekend while I went back to Indy for Clints graduation and then left on Monday. My dad gave us the horrible news. He had taken my mom to the ER as soon as she had gotten off the plane and she had been admitted right away. She was later diagnosed with stage three ovarian cancer. We all began to cry. My mom came on the screen and told us that she wasn't scared and was just ready to begin treatment to feel better. She had her surgery on Tuesday and went home yesterday. She'll go back for a follow up on Monday and then begin chemo in three weeks. Heartbreakingly, chemo will last through December so she will miss Catherines birth. I am already planning to bring her to Phoenix the minute that I feel up to it after her arrival. Clint and I have gone back and forth about going before chemo begins as well but, at this point in my pregnancy, I just don't know if that is possible. I keep trying to find words to sum this up but its just not possible.

Selling in the Springtime

2011-03-24T12:16:00.000-07:00

We're just settling back in from spending a great three day weekend at Clints parents house. Clint is from a tiny town in TN and its always a nice break from the real world...no 3G internet connection, no city noise, nothing but peace and quiet. Spring had sprung and we all had a great time. We spent the majority of our time eating great Southern food, playing outside and watching the TN high school state basketball tournament.

On our way home from TN we got a call from our relator that we had an offer on our house. After some negotiating we agreed on a price and signed the contract! We are still pretty much in shock as we've only been on the market a little over the month. We will have to bring some money to the table but it's worth it to move to San Francisco without having to worry about our bungalow. Keeping our fingers crossed that the inspection goes well!

It was Spring for about one day in Indy before turning back into winter again so we took advantage and spent the day outside practicing walking with our dinosaur and having a St. Paddys day cookout with friends.

Hope everyone is enjoying their week!

Walkin on Sunshine

2011-03-16T16:38:00.000-07:00

It was one of those magical days. The first truly beautiful day of the season. Birds are chirping, the sun is shining, everyone is smiling. The most wonderful part of all though...today is the first day my baby girl took her FIRST STEPS...

We're walking on sunshine around our house today!

The Heart of the Matter

2011-03-03T17:21:00.000-08:00

Clint and Caroline play in the living room while I cook dinner. I hear her sweet laugh and it brings tears to my eyes. My heart hurts I love them both so much in that moment.

I spent the majority of my Monday at a cardiologist. Doctors and nurses and gowns that open in the front. My heart hurts I'm so scared in those seconds, minutes, hours.

Caroline giggles at me from around the corner of the kitchen. Her little voice says "Mama" and Clint points to me and smiles. My heart swells with an overwhelming sense of happiness.

EKGs and Echocardigrams and waiting to hear my name called. Picturing my sweet girl at home with a sitter and wishing I was home with her instead. Waiting and hurting and waiting a few minutes more. My heart swells with an overwhelming sense of fear.

It takes both Clint and I to get Caroline dressed for bed tonight. Our wiggle worm has other plans than to sleep. Clint sits her in the rocking chair with me and kisses her goodnight. She lays her little head on my chest. My heart is filled with joy.

Being called back into the doctors office. He holds the test results and looks down at me. A typical murmur is now being complicated by two pregnancies so close together. Slowing down is my only option for success. There will be no more running half marathons. There will be no more pregnancies until my body has sufficient time to recover from this one. I will be monitored throughout this pregnancy. My heart is filled twith relief.

I hug my sweet Caroline tighter, I sit a little closer to Clint, we point to my belly and say "baby" while Caroline looks in wonder. This is the heart of the matter.

What are you doing the rest of your life
North and South and East and West of your life
I have only one request of your life
That you spend it all with me
-Alan Bergman

Wait, what?

2011-02-26T06:34:00.000-08:00

Its been a month since I posted last ?!? A month...really? My goodness, I honestly don't know where the time has gone. Well, I technically do know as I've been spending it alternating between prying my eyelids open so I don't fall asleep while Caroline is crawling down the basement stairs and trying to keep down my lunch. Whew, this pregnancy hasn't been nearly as fun as the first time around. A little catch up...

Pregnancy
-I'm about 11 weeks along and am praying that the end of this first trimester brings more energy and less food aversions. We're due in mid-September. I'm thinking of trying a vbac this time around.
-The baby is looking great though, like Caroline, is measuring small for their age. I'm sure they'll catch up in no time. I can't wait until we get to find out if its a boy or girl! I'm thinking girl but my maternal instincts have been very wrong before ;)
-I've been having some chest pressure and my doctor heard a heart murmur at my first prenantal appointment. I'll be seeing a cardiologist on the 1st to check everything out. Keeping my fingers crossed for just a benign murmur.
-I broke out my maternity shirts this week too...it was just sad to keep denying it :)
-I'm worried about post partum depression again. In reality, sometimes I'm just as worried about not having it. I think I would have a hard time loving this baby the second I see them and bonding with them when it took me so long with Caroline. I'm sure that sounds funny but it's been on my mind lately.

Other comings and goings...
-I've been reading al my blogs in Google Reader lately which means there is no place to comment. I need to get better about actually going to the blog to comment!
-Caroline is finally standing on her own! She doesn't go anywhere but gets so proud of herself when she stands up that she falls back down. Adorable.
-Her favorite new thing to do is sit in her toy box...

and watch TV!
-We went to our first Gymboree class this month and loved it.

(iphone photo)

-We went to the Childrens Museum yesterday for the first time and loved that too.

(iphone photo)

-Our house is officially on the market. We've had five showings but no takers yet.
-We'll be heading to San Francisco in May to apartment hunt. Yikes!
-If we get one more day of snow I may just move to SF now.
-Clints worst rotation ends on Monday. Goodbye single parenthood!
-We're having dinner with friends tonight. I'm praying I can survive the meal :)
- I still haven't made Carolines baby book. I probably should get that started.
-Caroline had her one year pictures taken by Portraiture Studios. Here they are...

Hope everyone enjoys their weekend!

Home Again Home Again Jiggity Jig

2011-02-01T06:57:00.000-08:00

Caroline and I are finally settled back at home after an extended vacation with my family and friends out West. We enjoyed every moment of the trip...and especially loved the beautiful weather.

Even though we were there for almost three weeks I barely took any pictures...mainly because morning sickness kicked in a few days after our arrival and basically wiped me out. It's been hanging around since though I think its finally starting to let up. Hooray for eating again!!

Speaking of this sweet baby on the way...Clint snuck me into the children's hospital over the weekend for an ultrasound. I was fairly certain that we were going to see two babies in there because of how bad I've been feeling. Ha! There was just one little sweet bean with a beautiful beating heart though. Such a gorgeous sight!

We're stuck inside today due to an ice storm. Maybe I can muster up some energy to start getting our house ready to put on the market...or maybe I'll just cuddle on the couch with my sweet girl. Okay, who am I kidding? Caroline hasn't let me cuddle with her since she figured she could wiggle away from me months ago. It's about to get worse since she started to stand on her own yesterday (whew! we were starting to getting a little nervous that she would be crawling to her first college class!) She gets so excited that she's standing that she starts to laugh and then falls down. One day at a time :)

Extended Vacation

2011-01-12T18:28:00.000-08:00

Caroline and I are in the middle of an extended vacation in Scottsdale with my parents. (We left Clint behind to work and love on Jack!) We are spending our time enjoying my family, friends and the 70 degree weather. Hope everyones having a good week! We'll be back to blogging towards the end of January :)

Secrets, Secrets

2011-01-06T17:27:00.000-08:00

I love blogging. I love that it lets me keep a journal of all the fantastic events that take place in my life and the life of those I love. I love that it can take me back to a time and place in just an instant. I love that people follow along in my life and that I follow along with others. Mainly, though, I love to blog for me and me alone. To sit down and post about the people and things that make my life worth living is one of the best parts of the day. Feelings and thoughts that are jumbeled in my mind come out in perfect sentences right here. Events and feelings I would never remember in a year, a month, a day are all there in perfect detail. Two days ago I had one of those days that I want to remember every. single. second. of. because I saw this...

and it took my breath away.

(To note: I know that it is still very early (we're only about 3 weeks along now) and, obviously, there is always a chance that something could go wrong but if it does I will have a place to write out my feeling and find solace here. )

The story:

I woke up early on January 3rd and took a pregnancy test. I knew that it was much too early to test (since I chart my temperature I knew I was only about 8 days out ) but I just couldn't resist. So when I saw that it was negative I didn't think twice about it and went about my day. On January 4th I knew it was most likely too early again but I'm a gluten for punishment so I tested. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. So, I took a shower and then started to put on my makeup. The test was still sitting on the vanity and something about it caught my eye. Just as I did with Caroline's test, I thought I saw the faintest of faint lines. I took the test apart and held it up to the light and there it was. A faint, tiny, blue line. I thought my heart was going to stop. I honestly couldn't believe what I was seeing. Caroline and I went to Target and bought, amongst other things, a digital pregnancy test. I took that and within a minute the word pregnant appeared in the window. Again, I just couldn't believe it. I literally stopped breathing. I picked up Caroline and held her so tightly (as she tried to squirm away from me to chase Jack!). I saw her as a big girl for the first time. OMGoodness, she is going to be a big sister! Caroline and I played the rest of the day and had, as usual, a little photo session. The thought that I was pregnant came and went throughout the day but I was so shocked that I don't think I believed it even then. I told my friend Kelley because he called and I simply couldn't hold it in :) I couldn't wait to tell Clint when he got home from work. I wanted to do it in a creative way and loved my idea. I always take lots of pictures of Caroline and usually show them to Clint while we're eating dinner. As we ate, I asked him if he wanted to see the pictures from that day. Of course, he said yes. I scrolled slowly though the first 9 on my computer and the last picture was the one above. I don't know if I've ever seen him so stunned. He just stared and stared at the screen. "You're pregnant?" he asked, with slight tears in his eyes. We hugged, and laughed, and stood together in shock. We said how much we couldn't believe it, how happy we were, how crazy this was. We are due in mid September so this will be a San Francisco baby. I am going to the doctor on February 10th but Clint will sneak me into his hospital before that to check on this sweet pumpkin. It truly hasn't set in yet. I don't feel much as of now but I'm sure that it's coming soon. I wasn't going to tell my family yet but since I'll be with them in Phoenix for the next few weeks I knew I had to tell since I'm the WORST liar. I've told my parents, sister, sister in law and friend Janee (because she asked me specifically if I was pregnant and, again, I'm the WORST liar!) Everyone is excited though hesitant as well as my sister in law miscarried over the holidays. She was sweet when I told her but I think it brought a slight ache to her heart, as can be expected. As many of you know, I stopped blogging when I was pregnant with Caroline and kept a private journal online. Sadly, all of that was lost so everything will be kept here with this pregnancy. I honestly can't even believe that I writing this. Wahooooo!! Here we grow again :)

Proud Papa

What? I'm going to be big sister ?!?

Where is the baby? Are they here now?

Wahooooo!

Happy First Birthday Caroline!

2011-01-05T17:54:00.000-08:00

My sweet Caroline is a year old today. I'm glad this is a blog and not a video chat because you would see me crying. my. eyes. out. I honestly can't believe that a year has passed! Where has the time gone? There must be someone I can talk to about getting it back. Just a little of it? A week? A day? I'd pay good money. Ok, fine but it still breaks my heart all the same. In only 365 short days my sweet girl has gone from this LITTLE bit of loveliness...

to this sweet, wonderful, fantastic, amazing BIG girl ...

I honestly could not have ever imagined the amount of love a heart could hold until I was blessed with Caroline. The way I feel for her is unlike anything that I have ever experienced. To comfort her, to hold her, to dry her tears and make her giggle...those are my greatest joys. She is my heart of hearts. I thank God everyday that I am her mama and love her beyond words.

Caroline, I hope you always keep the wonder I see your eyes right here

I love you, pumpkin. The happiest of birthdays to you!

I Carry You In My Heart by EE Cummings

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)

I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

- EE Cummings

Resolutions

2011-01-01T18:14:00.000-08:00

We had a great NYE at a small party hosted by one of the other residents. I lucked out with Caroline's sitter being free to stay with her and we got to enjoy a night with friends...though by 1 am (and after Clint had consumed a Four Loco and a plethera of other drink concoctions) this mama was ready to go home. I am beyond old and couldn't remember the last time I had been up that late! I left my camera at their house but will update with a picture when I get it back.
Speaking of New Years, I'm not very good with resolutions. I always make them really big and totally unattainable and they end up mocking me sometime in February and making me feel miserable :) So this year I just have one small goal...to feed myself and my family better in 2011. After becoming a vegetarian in September I have become much more aware of what I am personally consuming. It's difficult to eat mindlessly as a vegetarian because most frozen or fast food contains meat. You are forced to think ahead. The planning is time consuming but is one of my favorite aspects of vegetarianism. I like knowing what I'm consuming and eating mostly fresh, organic food. The awareness in that respect is nothing compared to how aware I am of what I'm feeding Caroline. I've become hyper aware of what we are eating when I plan her three meals a day. To think that now, since she's basically been weaned off formula, I can control everything that she puts in her body is fairly overwhelming to say the least. I am going to attempt to create from scratch when possible, not pick up frozen food unless it's necessary, and eat local and organic when we can. I started tonight by making a fresh, preservative free dinner...whole wheat penne pasta in an all natural vodka sauce with fresh spinach, tomatoes, and mushrooms ( and a side of free ranging chicken for the meat eater in the house). Hopefully this resolution sticks..I'm going to use this blog to keep me honest!
Besides a great New Years Eve, something else great happened yesterday. I became the proud owner of a brand new Nikon D3000! It is a stunning camera and I can't believe I get to call it mine. I combined mine and Carolines Christmas money to get it (because it's pretty much for her too, right? Right? ). I am in love...I've taken about 200 pictures today. I have no idea how to really use the camera yet but will share my favorite of the day (this has not been edited yet)

I could stare at that face all day

Happy 2011!

Christmas 2010

2010-12-30T18:23:00.000-08:00

I literally took 300+ pictures over the Christmas holiday and I'm pretty sure that Clint secretly deleted about 100 more when I wasn't looking. (PS When I'm taking 1,000 pictures a second of Caroline he always, with slight horror in his voice, asks "Will you take this many pictures of all our kids?" Well, I hope so though I think he's only asking because he's worried about me taking up all the memory of most computers in a 50 mile radius of our house!) So, as not to send anyone into a picture coma...my top five favorite pictures from Christmas Part 1 and Part 2

Part 1 We had Christmas at our house on Wednesday morning. We made breakfast, turned on Pandora radio, and opened gifts. Caroline, obviously, doesn't quite understand Christmas nor is she the kind of kid that loves to tear through paper so she was pretty calm. It was so nice since I'll take bets that it's her last Christmas to sit contentedly on my lap while the morning passes her by.

Opening her very first Christmas gift from my mom on Tuesday!

With Dad on Christmas Morning

I love her sweet face in this picture

Panda hat from her Anuty Yenny

Sitting with her Mama

Part 2 On Thursday afternoon we headed up to Clints parents house. Clint is from a town of about 500 people so there's not much to do there. It's nice to be able to have somewhere to go and relax...and not get wi-fi :) It was just the five of us on Friday morning. It was a white Christmas and was beautiful. Clint's brother's family came over on Christmas night. Caroline LOVES her cousins and it's always so great to see them.

Headed to Granny and Papaws house

Our little family on Christmas morning

Walking with her new dinosaur!

Loving on her Papaw

Sweet Christmas Outfit

It was such a great Christmas and Caroline was spoiled rotten. Her ride on dinosaur from Granny and Papaw and personalized recorded book "Guess How Much I Love You" by Sam McBratney from her Grandma and Grandpa S were the big hits (and the latter made me cry my eyes out when we opened it...thanks alot mom!)

It's so funny to think of where we will be at this time next year. I picture us in San Francisco watching Caroline's eyes light up as she sees her gifts. I pray that by that time I'll have another little one sitting in my lap watching his or her big sister with excitement and love. Maybe my parents will be there, maybe my brother and sister, sister in law and niece. What a perfect little scene. Only time will tell...

The Christmas Post...

2010-12-30T14:14:00.001-08:00

...is coming! As crazy as this may sound I took about a billion pictures of Carolines first Christmas and first First birthday party and am still digging out from under editing all of them. Hope to have it posted soon :)

A Christmas Stocking

2010-12-22T16:50:00.000-08:00

I didn't post Carolines Christmas stocking yesterday on the Tuesday Tutorial because we had to run a hundred errands between last minute Christmas shopping and buying decorations for her first birthday party. (PS...Yes, I said her FIRST birthday party! I almost can't breathe I'm so shocked that it's already here! We are having a party the day after Christmas at my MIL's so I have to bring everything with me when we go to visit) Anyways, here's her stocking alongside the ones I made for Clint and I five years ago...

I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. Next year I'll be ordering family stockings that are all alike from Etsy. Hopefully they'll be another stocking to hang by then!

It will be pretty hectic around here until late January with the holidays and an extended trip I'm taking with Caroline so the Tuesday Tutorial will be back in full swing on February 1st with a Valentine's craft.

Christmas Card

2010-12-20T12:21:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Let me know if you made a stocking. I'll post them tomorrow and a new tutorial!

Christmas Party Past and Present

2010-12-17T13:35:00.000-08:00

Today was my annual work Christmas party. I stopped working as a therapist when Caroline was born but have continued doing PRN work for the company. Currently I'm filling in as the billing assistant while the regular girl is on maternity leave. It's been a great way to keep in touch with everyone and make a few extra dollars. It also means that I got to go to the holiday party again this year. This is one of my favorite events. It is at my boss Kathys house and there is great food, a fun secret santa exchange and a hysterical white elephant. Last year I was about 8 months pregnant at this time. Here are Caroline, Jack and I before going to the the party...

(Okay, everyone together now,"Girl, you were huge!")

And this year...look what that baby bump has become

What a difference a year makes! I 'm just in love with that face! My MIL made her that sweet dress. I could only get a full picture of it when she was laying down with her bottle :)

And not to forgot my sweet Jack one year later

Here is my boss, and friend, Kathy opening her gift at the party. Kathy has an extremely difficult job and has been working to make the lives of abused and neglected children better for years. She also fights extremely hard for equal rights for all people. Quite an amazing lady!

We had a great time and can't believe it was our last St. V's party! Thanks Kathy!

Market Price

2010-12-15T18:16:00.000-08:00

Our realtor came over yesterday to meet with us for the first time. She toured the house and gave us a fairly short to do list with some minor fixes...though, to be honest, even those stung a bit. It's hard to have someone come in and criticize your home. A home you love. A home you feel safe, comfortable, at peace. A home that holds your greatest loves and favorite possessions. Your refuge in the storm. It's even harder to have someone put a market price on it, especially if its just a few thousand more than what you bought it for. Over the next few weeks we'll be completing those small projects and officially putting our house on the market. The house that I helped Clint hunt for and pick out after we were settled in Indy...a place that many doubted we'd ever make it to after meeting in Vegas on Spring Break. The house that we lived in together after we got engaged.

The house we truly started a life in after our wedding...

The house we brought Jack home to (we're at the breeders home here)

And, a few years later, where we brought our sweet Caroline

The house where we fell in love, the house where we began a family, the house where all my dreams came true. It's hard for me to put a price on that, its hard for me to put a price on this...

This isn't going to be easy.

Tuesday Tutorial #3

2010-12-14T12:03:00.000-08:00

Happy Tuesday! Look at Nat's name board from the last tutorial...I'm so jealous because its adorable :)

On to the tutorial for this week...as if everyone didn't know already this will be my sweet Caroline's first Christmas! Sadly, she still doesn't have a stocking. So the craft for this week is a Christmas Stocking. There isn't exactly a tutorial for this but I found some cute ideas on Etsy to try and replicate. I'm going to use a pre-made stocking from Michael's and then add embellishments. Here are some cute ideas...

Via

Hope you make one too! They'd be cute for adults, kids, pets or to use as a basic decoration or gift wrap!

Click here for a coupon to Michael's (there are several but you can really only use the second one for this!)
Hope everyone is staying warm. This sweet girl and I went to book club today and are getting ready for our realtor to come over...wish us luck!

Monday Funday

2010-12-13T16:36:00.000-08:00

-Email me if you made a name board and I'll link it to the next post. Stop by tomorrow for my Tuesday Tutorial. I'll have some more Michael's coupons to share !

-It was a snowy day here today so Caroline and I stayed snuggly and warm inside. It was actually great that we were snowbound because our realtor is coming tomorrow to meet with us about selling our house and I did some much needed cleaning up and clearing out. We'll probably still have a list a mile long of things we need to do though!
-We had Christmas parties for Clint's work both Saturday and Sunday. Both parties are held annually and I can't believe that we have gone for the last six years...or that these were our last ones! We had a great time at each!

Hope you had a great weekend!

A BIG chair for my Little girl

2010-12-11T08:05:00.000-08:00

(PS Click here for some great Michael's coupons!)

Caroline loved her gift from Grandma and Grandpa S that arrived the other day...though the box was about ten times bigger than what was inside :) Caroline got her first Pottery Barn Kids Personalized Chair and it's adorable!

She isn't quite sure what to do with it yet...

But she gets it sometimes...

And sometimes she's just WAY over her Mama...

Hope you're having a great weekend!

Dear Santa

2010-12-09T11:55:00.000-08:00

This arrived yesterday for Caroline Grace from Grandma and Grandpa S...and, though from the size it may surprise you, its not a refridgerator or new car. I'll post it contents once we put it together. I can't stand the look on her face...it is TOO cute! I can't believe her first Christmas present is here!

After seeing that presents had offically begun to arrive, Caroline whipped out her letter to Santa and told me that I better get going on her Christmas shopping. Pretty sassy for an 11 month old don't you think? We are on a REALLY tight budget this year so we're not spending much but here are the things that will be under the tree for our sweet girls first Christmas from Santa...

Baby Einstien Take Along Tunes: What can I say, the girl likes to jam. She does this wild arm swing whenever music comes on. It's hysterical and I'm looking forward to seeing much more of it.

Leapfrog Violet the Puppy: Her first stuffed animal AND it can be programmed to say her name. So sweet!

Leapfrom Farm Fridge Magnetic Barn: To help when I'm trying to cook dinner and Caroline has gotten bored with the single peice of tupperware and measuring cup I've given her to play with

And some new pj's...please notice that these are 2 PIECE pajama's...which breaks my heart because it means that Caroline is becoming a BIG girl. It's too much for this Mama to take!

Tutorial Tuesday

2010-12-07T10:32:00.000-08:00

I had a great time making my glitter trees. Look how great Nat's turned out over on her blog! I'm looking forward to making this a weekly segment. Starting this week, I will run this as a tutorial on Tuesday and then post the finished projects from anyone who wants to participate on the following Monday. So for craft #2...

I have been eyeing wooden name signs on Etsy (sort of like this) for quite a while

Via

and have decided to create them as Christmas gifts for my nieces, Mia and Abby. Cute and cheap...perfect! I couldn't find a tutorial so I'm going to post my own.

What you'll need:
2x4 cut to your desired size (or any pre cut wooden plaque/shape from Michaels)
Scrapbook Paper
Modge Podge
Foam Brushs
Chipboard Letters and Glue Gun (if your like me and can't hand draw letters!)
Acrylic Paint

1. Take your pre-cut 2x4 or wooden plaque and paint it your desired color. I used acrylic paint and foam brushes for the painting

This may take several coats. I added some glitter at this time as well. Let dry completely.

2. Once dry, arrange your scrapbook paper to decorate your board however you'd like. I used my Sizzix and Circle die #2 to cut these circles.

3. Use your foam brush to apply a THIN layer of Modge Podge to the back of your scrapbook paper and place firmly onto the wood. Let dry completely

4. Once dry, arrange (or hand paint) your chipboard letters how you'd like them and glue gun them to your sign

5. Add any other embellishments and a hook if this is for the wall (a 2x4 will stand alone if you'd like)

6. Enjoy your final product...(I also made one for Caroline's First Christmas with her handprint)

If you don't have little ones in your life than these can be used as cute home signs with your last name, monogram, or used for a Christmas decoration with a word like "Joy" or "Merry". A picture could also be Modge Podged to the wood. Hope you enjoy. Let me know if you're planning on making them. Looking forward to it!

Here's a link to a special members only Michaels coupon for an added incentive to get crafting!

And what was Caroline doing while I was busy working? Helping Mama, of course!

11 Months and Glitter Trees

2010-12-06T11:45:00.000-08:00

Caroline Grace is 11 Months Old! In true 11 month old fashion, she is always on the go so I could barely get any pictures...(I tried all. day. long. hence the different hairbows and outfits!)

always going...

Pulling up on everything

Snow Tasting

At 11 Months you are:

As usual, such a happy baby

Wearing all 12 month clothes, have 6 teeth, and barely any hair :)

Taking four bottles and three "meals" a day (grapes, cheese, and bananas are your favorite!)

Pulling up on everything and starting to cruise

Crawling on your hands and knees...fast!

Still sleeping 6:30-6:30 and taking occasional day naps

Always waving and clapping your hands

Always pointing at everything

Starting to watch a few minutes of Sesame Street. You love when Elmo comes on

A TOTAL Mama's girl

Jacks best friend and say "ack!" whenever we say his name

Loving turning the light switches on and off and make the noise

Going to have your FIRST CHRISTMAS!!

The love of my life!

And here is the Closet Craft Corner #1 Craft...GLITTER TREES

(The pictures don't do them justice...I really love them!)

If you made some too then email me and I'll post them here :)

Going, Going, Gone...

2010-12-04T16:49:00.000-08:00

Okay, I'm officially off the "could I be pregnant" roller coaster for this month....and I'm totally okay with not being pregnant. I was a little disappointed at first but I know that its actually for the best. There are several positives including now having at least another month in San Francisco to get settled/get to know my doctor when we move, getting to meet my new niece or nephew arriving in July in Vegas, getting to go on the annual August Tahoe Trip with my sorority sisters, getting to eat myself into a Sushi coma tomorrow, getting to drink my way through Clint's Christmas work parties this month, and I'm sure my husband would add, getting to try for another month :) I know that I said I was going to be really relaxed about baby #2 but I've learned that I'm just slightly too type A for that so I'll start taking my temperature and charting on Monday.

On another note...I'm thinking of dying my hair back to this for the winter:

It's been my natural color since I was pregnant with Caroline but I'm getting the itch to change it again. Clint always says that it makes me "look even more Italian" when it's darker....I'm never really sure what that means but I take it as a compliment :) It's really only a few shades darker than my natural color but I think it makes a huge difference. Thoughts on the color?

The Closet Craft Corner and Some Sidenotes

2010-12-03T07:25:00.000-08:00

So, it's official...I have ~~SO MANY~~ one other closet crafter in the midst. Nat, you're the best :) The first project will be these adorable glitter trees from Eighteen25...

Just follow the link to find the tutorial! Also, as an added incentive...here are the great Michael's coupons that I received today. I'll post them on Monday. If you've made some too then email me and I'll link to your blog!

PS I am STILL waiting to find out one way or the other if I'm pregnant! Apparently it's true that after a baby your body is totally out of whack! I used to be a normal 28 day girl but not any more. I tested yesterday again and it was negative. If pregnancy tests weren't so expensive I would keep buying them but then I'd have no money to fund my craft addiction!

PPS I just saw a segment on the Today show about what you should bring to the hospital when you're having a baby and, in my opinion, it couldn't have been more wrong! Leave your monogrammed fluffy robe, brand new pillow and pillowcase, and fancy nursing cover at home...where its clean. I'm sure I don't have to point out that having a baby is messy...and a hospital is pretty gross to start with. Use-and ruin-the hospitals stuff (they have great front open robes for nursing!), leave them there and have your new things waiting for you when you bring your little bundle home!

PPPS We are on day 2 of Caroline's runny nose/cold quarantine...yuck!

Snow Day and A Crafter Question...

2010-12-01T18:43:00.000-08:00

Today was the first snow day of the season. I kept wanting to say that this was Carolines FIRST snow but it clearly wasn't as she was born during the worst SNOW STORM of 2010 and it snowed several more times that January and February. Ahhh, how the mind forgets those first crazy newborn weeks :) This summer my aunt had sent me this sweet bear suit and I remember thinking that Caroline would never be big enough to wear it. Insert mommy tears here...

Any crafters out there? I'm a closet crafter. I'm a craft blog stalker. I see so many amazing blogs with insanely great ideas on them every day. I mark them all and put them in a special folder in my mind labeled "TO DO ASAP". Sadly, it's filled with right about, oh, a billion items since I never actually do any of them. I'm looking for some motivation! Any crafters want to start a weekly craft show and tell? We can pick one thing then create it ourselves and post it here? I just need ONE taker to start :) Anybody? Anybody? Bueller....Here's the project I'd like to start with. Glitter Trees from the crafty ladies at Eighteen25

So, who's with me ?!?

Thanksgiving Recap and Baby Update

2010-11-30T11:58:00.000-08:00

We've had a great time celebrating Caroline's First Thanksgiving and are still recovering from all the festivities. Clint was on back up call Thanksgiving day so we stayed in Indy. We made a luxurious breakfast and Caroline watched her very first Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade! I was so happy to pass this tradition down to her.

We snuggled up the rest of the day and watched Up and The Proposal. Loved them both!

Later that night we went to our friend Alli's who made a delicious Thanksgiving dinner for some of the residents that were in town. We headed over with Caroline's pack and play and put her to bed there which gave us a few more hours of "adult" time!

We woke up early Friday morning and headed down to TN to spend the rest of the weekend with Clint's family (warning...too many pictures below!)

Scariest doll of ALL time

Hiking Ginnie's Farm

Can you see those top two teeth...that are coming in with a HUGE space in between :) Poor Clint is already calculating her future othodontic bills!

See that wispy hair on CG?? Woohoo...she's officially not bald!

In Baby #2 news....I'm in the middle of a waiting game. I've taken two tests (yesterday and today) and both have been negative but "nothing else" has happened either so theres still a shot for this month. I didn't follow anything from Taking Charge of Your Fertility this time around so I really don't know where I am in the two week wait...or, in reality, if I'm in it at all since I wasn't taking my temperature this month. So, I'm planning on testing every few days. Any one else out there trying or thinking about trying?

In other baby news, my brother and sister in law are pregnant with baby #2 and are due in July. This was quite the surprise for them but they are very excited. Katie always jokes with me that I should just stop "trying" since both her babies were a little unexpected :) It is so exciting because we will be in San Francisco by then so will be much closer as they live in Vegas (Yes, people live there all year round!) Congrats to Jay, Katie, and Mia!

Tuesday Tidbits

2010-11-23T05:56:00.000-08:00

-I can't believe that Thanksgiving is in 2 days! I am so excited to cuddle up with Caroline on the couch to watch her first Macys parade. It has always been a tradition at our house and I'm looking forward to passing this on to my sweet girl. Later today we'll be making handprint turkeys.

-I have book club with my mom's church group this morning. We are reading "The Thirteenth Tale" by Diane Setterfield. It's amazing! It's the first book I've really be able to get lost in in a long time.

-We had a warm day in Indy yesterday so we took advantage and played outside...

Our trusty watchdog, Jack...

And sometimes it gets cold unexpectedly so we bundle up in whatever we can find in our bag...

-I found these adorable leg warmers in the dollar bin at Target and had to have them for this chunky monkey. Thankfully, the warm weather gave us time for a little photo shoot. Though, let's be honest, I would have done it even if it weren't warm. You can't pass up an opportunity like this :)

Bye Mom. I'm outta here!

"O Christmas Tree"

2010-11-20T10:34:00.000-08:00

Since Caroline was, oh, not even born yet, I had imagined her first Christmas pictures. I thought of 1000 different ways I could pose her....cuddled up in a big stocking, sleeping under our tree of twinkling lights, wearing a Santa hat holding Jack next to her in antlers. Fast forward 10 months. She'd squirm out of a stocking in a heartbeat, she only falls asleep in the pitch dark of her room, and Jack doesn't get within 5 feet of her. So, onto our next idea...Caroline in front of her very own Christmas tree. Years ago we planted a pine tree in our yard. I had totally forgotten about it until yesterday when I was thinking of new ways to pose her picture. See, its easy to forget because it's tiny , maybe 2 feet, and it hasn't grown an inch since we planted it...so, sad for the tree, good for Caroline. It's her very own baby sized tree. We kept our pj's on and started to decorate it today. It's not finished yet but here's what we've done so far...

(Oh and don't mind that dead bush behind her...pulling it is on my to-do list)

Look at that hat!

Just a few more toppings and we'll be done...

Santa Claus Is Coming To...apparently not the mall yet

2010-11-19T11:10:00.000-08:00

My neighbor had told me that she thought Santa was already at our local mall and I Caroline was so excited to meet him. She put on one of her favorite Christmas outfits this morning and we headed out to meet the one and only. We ran around the mall wildly looking for a jolly old man with a bag full of toys but he was no where to be seen. In fact, there wasn't even a Christmas decoration up...not a light, not a wreath, not a nothing. Thank goodness Caroline wasn't older and beyond excited to see Santa and have him not show. Crush a kid much ? Yikes! So, not to let a cute outfit go to waste, heres a little photo shoot we did at home...

And, of course, I got Jack in on the action...

Who shared a little holiday love with his sister...

Happy Friday!

Cruisin'

2010-11-18T07:17:00.000-08:00

Poor Jack...he officially has no where left to hide. Caroline started CRUISING this morning. She pulled up on the ottoman like a champ and took her first few steps. We're all in trouble!

The Heart Chakra

2010-11-17T04:24:00.000-08:00

I'm not a meditative person. If I ever find the time to take a yoga class, my mind wanders in a million different directions the whole time...mainly to super important stuff like my grocery list and house work. The more the teacher tells me to let go and relax the more anxious I get...and the more my mind spins. Today my mom's group had a yoga instructor come in to teach us for an hour. It started as the same routine as normal...breathe, relax, blah, blah blah. All I heard was 1. vacuum living room carpet 2. pick up nursery water 3. make guacamole for book club...you get the point. For a moment, my mind got quiet and I began to listen as the teacher was stating "you are now at the heart chakra. let the energy swirl around your heart. listen carefully here as your heart is the place where all your joy lives" I relaxed and breathed deeply. At once, I had the clearest vision. Clint was holding Caroline in a doctors office. I was laying on an examination table and the doctor was pointing to the screen of an ultrasound machine. A tiny "baby bean" (since that's really what they look like at the start!) with a beating heart was there before us. We all cheered and Caroline clapped her hands in response to everyones happiness. I cried tears of joy. The image was gone as suddenly as it appeared. I smiled the biggest smile. This may not seem like much to you but this meant the world to me. As much as I know I want another baby, I have had some huge fears and reservations about it- some noted in past posts. This brief picture has put my heart and mind completely at ease...because, this picture appeared during that specific moment, as she was stating "this is the place where all your joy lives", and I knew in my heart that this baby will be a joy and blessing in our lives. I knew that I could handle the work for the ultimate reward. Growing and tending to my family is my joy, my heart, my life. Now, with no reservations, I'm crossing my fingers for, God willing, baby #2. And, just some sweet pictures of my first babies...

Dream Edition

2010-11-16T06:22:00.000-08:00

My mom tells a story every winter that is dear to my heart. When my dad was in residency in Maryland, my mom stayed home with my brother and sister. They were, to say the least, totally broke. On a freezing cold winter night, my mom was at the grocery store and saw a bin of $1.99 stretch gloves. She wanted to buy a pair for my dad, especially since he was leaving the house every morning in the freezing cold to go to work. She weighed them between the food she was going to purchase and had to, with tears in her eyes, put the gloves down because they simply couldn't afford them. Now, 30 years later that story is my story. We can, thankfully, afford $1.99 gloves if we needed to but being a stay at home mom on a residents salary brings you to the bare bones of a budget. I do a lot of window shopping and picking up and putting down of items I'd love to have. But that doesn't mean a girl can't dream. In wake of this, I'm starting a new blog tradition- HOME: DREAM EDITION. I am constantly pouring over magazines, internet articles, and design shows loving the kitchens, bathrooms, and bedrooms that I can only dream about. Here I'll be able to keep all those ideas in one spot to MAYBE be able to use one day! Every week I'll pick a room and start a dream journal of what I'd love to have and add to it when I see great ideas :) So, to start, because I'd enjoy living in the pictures below, DINING ROOMS...

http://inspirationfordecoration.blogspot.com/

Let me know if you'd like to join and I'll add a Mister Linky! Its a great way to keep all your ideas in one spot!

Fall Photos

2010-11-15T07:56:00.000-08:00

Caroline is happy to report that she feels much better today

And even got changed out of her pjs...finally!

Last Sunday we went down to Brown County to have our first family pictures taken and I got the proofs last night. Here are some of my favorites...

Total engagement picture flashback...

Happy Monday!

Lazy Days

2010-11-14T16:12:00.000-08:00

We've had a lazy weekend around the Cary household. On Saturday Caroline and I helped at our church Holiday Bazaar. Here we are before we left...

I think her little outfit makes her look like a present!

We had two tables of baked goodies at the bazaar. All proceeds went to Missions and it was a success!

After the Bazaar Caroline took a nap and I found her like this. She is TOO big

...and reason #437 why I need to put the covers on her crib rails

We put our pj's on and played awhile...

Caroline woke up not feeling too well this morning. Look at that sad eye!

So we spent most of the day doing this

And this...

And caught up on my favorite Tivo'd shows. I love them both but if you don't watch either you HAVE to start watch Flipping Out with Jeff Lewis. Hysterical!

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Newborn Nights

2010-11-12T17:59:00.000-08:00

I would give my life for Caroline without a second thought. Her heart is my heart. Her world is my world. If I am nothing else, I am Caroline's mom. When I see her face I see everything that is right and good in the world. It hasn't always been this way. I don't like to think about the first few weeks of my sweet Caroline's life. I don't like to think about the way I felt or the thoughts I had. I don't like to remember how post partum depression clouded my every thought and feeling. I don't like to remember the tears and the sadness. I don't like to think about all the moments I missed. I don't like to remember that for her first 48 hours she was alone in the NICU, under an oxygen hood, with little monitors on her lungs because only one worked. I don't like to remember that I only visited her there twice and spent the rest of the time in my recovery room watching tv. I don't like to remember feeding her in the middle of the night with tears rolling down my cheeks. I don't like to remember praying my days away. Caroline had a rough night last night. I rocked her at 3 am and remembered those long, newborn nights and was overcome by worry. Worry about having these feelings again when our next baby comes along. Worry about how to cope with those feelings and have both a baby and Caroline to care for. Worry about those long newborn nights. For now, I'll love on this sweet girl...

and know my love will get us through.

A Day in Iphone Pictures

2010-11-12T07:16:00.000-08:00

Heres our day yesterday in Iphone pictures...

This little girl woke up and spent some time snuggling with her Mama

We bundled up for our morning walk

And later went to the park to swing

then we went to the doctor for flu shot #2...look at those unsuspecting chubby cheeks :(

Caroline napped when we got home and I baked cupcakes for my churches Holiday Bazaar

And worked on our Christmas ornaments

Caroline woke up and looked for her Daddy awhile

And did a little of this

Okay, a lot of it

It was finally time to get ready for a bath

And when this sweet baby snuggled down to sleep

her mama snuggled with this baby...

The One Where She Tells A Secret

2010-11-11T07:26:00.000-08:00

There's several things I love about blogging...the biggest one is that I have a horrible memory so blogging helps to jog it a bit :). It's also great because, since I decided at the beginning that I would keep this for myself and wouldn't have any family or close friends read, I can share BIG secrets. So, drumroll please...WE ARE TRYING FOR BABY #2 and are SO excited! We knew early on that we wanted the babies to be close together but not too close and, as of now, they would be 18 months apart which is great. Also, we are moving to San Francisco in June so a September baby will give us at least two months to get settled. We wanted to have this little one in the first few months after our move so we can get through those few crazy newborn weeks early on and all enjoy our new city together. In the meantime, I'll keep Caroline busy with her new favorite activity...

She could pull stuff out of bags and put them back in all. day. long. She wouldn't even look up for a picture :)

And love on this face...

who clearly, by his expression, knows something he won't like is about to happen. again!

Happy Thursday!

Tid Bits...

2010-11-10T07:05:00.000-08:00

Happy Wednesday!

A few tidbits:

I changed the name of my blog (but not the actual html)...yay!

Caroline has her second flu shot tomorrow...yuck!

Its 73 degrees in Indy today...woohoo!

I sent Clint's medical license application to the Medical Board of California yesterday...exciting!

I'm hoping to have a big announcement soon (no, we're not pregnant! )...?!?

I'm in love with the Etsy site Fresh Picked Whimsy. Here are some of her prints...cute!

I'd love to buy all my Christmas gifts from Etsy this year. They just have the cutest things! Do you have a favorite Etsy site?

Grandma Visits!

2010-11-09T13:07:00.000-08:00

My mom has been in town visiting for the last week which means we've all been having a wonderful time and Caroline Grace has been getting spoiled rotten! Everyday we had something fun planned and were blessed with beautiful weather. My mom flew in on Wednesday night and we all just hung out at home. Grandma made CG that cute purple frog!

Grandma and CG watched Elmo on the Ipad...

Caroline showed Grandma how she's been practicing trying to pull up on the couch...with a little help from Daddy

We started out early on Thursday at the Junior League Holiday Mart.

It is one of my favorite events of the season and kicks off my holiday shopping. If you have one in your area you should definitely go. Caroline got herself an adorable Christmas outfit and her first monogrammed bag there:

I think it's so cute! I'm in LOVE! After that we drove up to Target for my eye doctor appointment...or what I thought was my eye doctor appointment. It was actually at a Target across town. My Mommy brain is the worst! On Friday we took Caroline to have some Christmas pictures taken at Portrait Innovations. I like going there because there's no sitting fee and you get your prints right away. Usually they do a great job but I think the photographer was new, as in that was his first session ever, because the pictures weren't great so we only made out with one but it's sweet:

PS I asked him if there was a way to lighten the picture and he told me he couldn't because that was a special "mood lighting". Really?
On Saturday we woke up early and excited to go to a craft bazaar at a local high school.

I am a HUGE craft bazaar fan (I know, I know!) so I've been looking forward to going since I heard about it. Well, let me just say, it left much to be desired. There was actually a table where a woman had made hundreds of outfits for the plastic ducks that people use as lawn ornaments. I would have snapped an Iphone pic but I was too busy staring in shock! It was more like a bad, giant garage sale. I think we'll be laughing about that for years to come. We spent the rest of the day runing errands. On Sunday, we all drove to Brown County for our family pictures. Clint, Caroline, and I have never had family pictures taken and I was so excited. The setting was beautiful and the weather was perfect. We ate at a little cafe afterwards and walked around the town. So fun!

The pictures will be ready next week and I'll be sure to post them. Yesterday was my moms birthday. She, Caroline, and I all went to our local art museum to walk around. It was perfect.

I made dinner for everyone and we had cake. It was such a great day.

Caroline looked in her toybox for a gift but didn't want to give any of her toys away :)

Today my church mom's group had a bake day for our items to sell at our table at the Holiday Bazaar on Saturday. Caroline stayed home with my mom. When I got back, Caroline was STANDING in the door waiting for me. She is getting TOO big! We took my mom to the airport this afternoon and miss her already!

10 Months!

2010-11-05T15:41:00.000-07:00

Happy 10 Month Birthday to this sweet girl!

At 10 Months you are:
Just starting to know when I want you to smile for the camera and refusing!
Still sleeping about 13 hours (7pm-8am) and taking a few short naps during the day. You let me know you're awake by talking to yourself.
Still wearing 9 months clothes but have moved up into some 12 month...this makes momma sad
Still only have 2 teeth
Still army crawling everywhere
Just starting to get up on your knees and rock back and forth. Today you moved one little knee and one little hand!
Just starting to pull up and stand (with help)
Loving playing Peek A Boo with anything you're close to..your bib, the shower curtain, your hat, the bottom of the couch..
Drinking 28oz of formula and eating pureed fruits and veggies and bits of what we're eating
You talk ALL the time. You say "ba" every time you hear Jack bark. You can say "dada" for hours. You just started saying "mama" but only when you're tired and miserable :)
You love Jack. You two are always playing together. You love his purple ball.
You love your Dad and get SO excited when he comes home from work
You love to bang anything you can on the ground...the clicker, my camera, the phone, etc.
You just started sleeping with your little booty in the air.
You crawl to me really fast and put your arms around my legs really hard, especially in the morning
Your cheeks are still huge!
People always stop me in the store to tell me how pretty you are
You are still as sweet as ever
I love you more than I ever thought possible

Show Us Your Life- What Do You Make...BOWS and HEADBANDS

2010-11-04T18:33:00.000-07:00

Hi!
Hope everyone is having a great Thursday. I'm joining the Show Us Your Life over at Kelly's Korner today and showing off what I make...BOWS and HEADBANDS! My sweet Caroline is ALWAYS wearing a bow as every little girl should be :) All bows are custom made so just email me what you're looking for and I can do it! Here are some examples:

Making Moves

2010-11-04T06:59:00.001-07:00

WOOHOO! CG is finally getting up on her knees to crawl...and I have photo evidence!

Now this might not seem like a big deal to some but it's quite a feat around our household! Caroline has been army crawling for oh, ever, and she has refused to get on her knees. At close to 10 months, we were getting slightly worried that she may be army crawling down the aisle one day :) So, congrats CG! Now if those little knees would just get moving...

The Kindness of Strangers

2010-11-03T17:47:00.001-07:00

Today I had a life lesson in random acts of kindness. Caroline and I were going to pick up my mom at the airport at 4 pm so I'd had a hectic day cleaning the house and getting ready for her arrival. Jack desperately needed to be groomed and I had been putting it off for far too long. See, Jack HATES being groomed so getting both he and Caroline through the groomers door is nothing short of a miracle. I finally bit the bullet today and brought him. We actually did fine getting there and came back to pick him up a few hours later. He looked adorable and was beyond excited to see us. It was slightly hectic in the groomers as I was leaving so when the girl asked if I could "handle it all" (you know, just an overflowing wallet in one hand, a bouncing 8 pound Yokie in the other, a 19lb baby on my hip and winter coats in the mix) I shrugged her off and walked through the busy parking lot to my car. I finally got everyone in and patted myself on the back for surviving. About half way home, my phone started ringing. I reluctantly answered the unknown caller. A sweet woman on the other line told me that she and her husband had just found my wallet in the parking lot. She said she assumed I was loading up my car-as it's next to a grocery store- and it had fallen. I told her about Jack and Caroline and that I must have dropped it in the chaos. I was so grateful and offered to meet them wherever they were. They stated that they were headed in my direction anyway so they would met me at a local gas station. I hugged the woman tightly after the wallet exchange. She hugged me back and said simply "God Bless You". I had tears in my eyes when I got back in my car. Their good heartedness was overwhelming. Thank God for the kindness of strangers.

...My sweet,groomed Jack...

Trunk or Treat and Halloween 2010

2010-11-02T08:43:00.000-07:00

Our church had their first Annual Trunk or Treat this year on Friday before Halloween. This sweet kitten and I decided that we'd put our "trunk" in the party and passed out candy to all the trunk or treaters. They estimated over 500 kids came...unfortunately, they had originally told us to expect about 75 kids so we ran out of candy FAST. Thankfully, people went on candy runs so we had enough for everyone. It was such a great, safe, and fun event!

We were supposed to be a kitten and cat but I could only find bunny ears so it threw some people off :)

We didn't get a picture but my sweet friends Kelley and Brad came by with their little duck, Corey! So cute! On Halloween we woke up early and went to church. After running a few errands, we came home and put on our Halloween p.j.s

Looking for Dad...

Always on the go...

Waiting for Trick or Treaters

Our neighborhood doesn't get many trick or treaters so KCC and I put Caroline to bed and closed up the house early. We're looking forward to next year when Caroline can get us, I mean her, some great treats!

Stoney Creek Pumpkin Patch and Pumpkin Carving

2010-11-02T08:37:00.000-07:00

We took this sweet girl to her first pumpkin patch over the weekend. The weather was beautiful...the perfect Fall day. We dressed CG up in her sweet Halloween outfit from Auntie Jill and headed over to Stoney Creek Farm with out friends Matt and Shelly.

CG saw some live animals...though she wasn't very impressed

KCC, Shelly, and Matt

CG's first hayride!

Pumpkin picking!

KCC and CG with our pumpkin

We got home, got warm, and got to carving...

Helping daddy

Watching when the real carving started

What a great day!

Michie and Johns Wedding

2010-11-02T08:29:00.000-07:00

We had an amazing weekend in California! One of my best friends, Michele, was getting married in Pasadena on Saturday. CG and I flew in to San Diego to spend the night with another bf, Kathryn. Caroline always flys well though doing it alone wasn't as easy and I was definitely glad when we landed. Kathryn, CG, and I met up with her boyfriend, Jason, and we all went to a cute lunch spot in La Jolla. After that, we went back to K's to relax, Another sorority sister of ours, Chelsea, came over to see us. It was so great catching up. We got up early (well, CG woke up EXTRA early), picked up some Starbucks and headed to Pasadena. We picked up Clint at the Burbank airport and went to out hotel. We got ready and headed to the chucrh.

CG before the church...

Kathryn and I

Another of our best friends, Audrey, met us at the church. I can't tell you what it meant to me to have Caroline meet and spend time with my best friends. It was fantastic!

The ceremony was gorgeous though CG and I had to watch it through a window in the door because she was a little too chatty for the church :)

The ceremony was at Michele's parents house and it was stunning!

The men in our lives

I love that CG is staring at Auddo's wine

The Bride and Groom

The boys checking their fantasy football scores

CG did great until about 7pm and then had a mini meltdown. Clint took her back to the hotel and I stayed. We had a great time dancing and drinking (a lot!) The next morning we all had brunch together and Kathryn and Jason took us back to the airport. It was so sad leaving and we can not wait to call CA home! The plane ride back was late at night and not so fun...a sweet picture before take off. I could squeeze that face all day!

9 Months!

2010-11-02T08:21:00.000-07:00

This sweet girl is 9 months old! She's spending the day at the beach and is loving it.

At 9 months you are:

Still sleeping about 12 hours at night (6:30-6:30)

Not taking consistent naps though you go down twice a day for about 1/2 hour each

Army crawling everywhere and occasionally rocking on your knees

ALWAYS talking...you finally started to say "mama" but only when you're crying and miserable :)

You're right about 50% for height, weight (18.8lbs), and head size

You're still wearing 9 months clothes but are close to growing out of them

You LOVE Jack and his purple ball. You two are always together

I make your baby food and you'll eat most of it...while making a gagging sound at the beginning of it

You are working on your pincer grasp and haven't figured out how to get the food in your mouth

I feed you bits of what we're eating. You don't like avacado

Everyone says you're the cutest baby they've ever seen

You cheeks are still HUGE

You are the happiest baby. You love to smile and laugh...especially when I swing you from side to side

You've pulled yourself up twice

I found you sitting up in bed twice

You're light up when you're Dad comes home

We love you